Saturday, January 29, 2011

Life is hectic, but life is good.

I've been so outstandingly busy.

Before classes started back up, I spent most of my free time seeing friends and beading necklaces, because I knew that once classes started again on the 19th I wouldn't have much time for either of those things.

Since the 17th, I started physically seeing someone. I state "physically" in that sentence because I've been talking to him since a few days before Christmas. He's a full time grad student in the Creative Writing department at CSU-Fresno, but he's originally from Venice (he went to UC-Long Beach for his undergrad). So since final exams, he went home to Venice to see his parents and his friends. He made it back up to Fresno on the 16th. We've seen each other almost every day since then (except the last couple of days because of work/class schedule conflicts). I'm not sure when it really became "official," but I've got a boyfriend now. It feels so cheesy or so middle school to say that phrase, but it's true either way. His name is Brian.

Aside from classes starting and the boyfriend, not much else has been going on. I've been working on my fear of drowning in swimming for beginners and water aerobics at CSUF. These will also help me get back into shape and get motivated to get back into shape because I enjoy being in the water. I just need work with holding my breath/blowing bubbles out of my nose and mouth/coming back up for air/not having water shoot down my throat. It's all going to take time. I feel like I had a few too many traumas with pools as a kid. Cousins and siblings. All I have to say is that "kids will be kids" and I'm not blaming them specifically for my fear... It developed through their actions, but they were just kids, so I don't hate them for it. Alan used to push me in the pool a lot as a kid, and my cousin Brian used to drag me to the deep end in his pool and leave me there. Enough years of both of those behaviors kind of made an impact on me collectively. The main point is that I'm "taking the bull by the horns," and I'm getting over it now. Sure, it's years later, but it's getting there!
I did a lot of awesome work this past week. I'm very proud of myself for it! I feel accomplished, even though I still have a long way to go!

I've also started seeing a therapist in the psychological services department at CSUF. I figured everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes, so why not? If the service is already paid for in my tuition, why not. I tend to get stressed out and eat my emotions because I internalize my thoughts, bottle them up until I explode... I'm trying to reverse the years of doing that now.

2011 is basically my year of getting things done. I'm aiming to lose 50 pounds at the least this year... Maybe more if I really get into the swing of things. I'm working on my swimming/drowning fears. I'm working on strengthening my ankle. I'm working hard at getting into shape so that I can do my field work for my thesis better. I'm working hard at school so I can get somewhere.
This is all leading to a happier and healthier future.

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