Saturday, July 31, 2010

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Oh sheesh, who knows. All I'm going to say at this point is characteristics that I would love to have in a future spouse or long term relationship, and characteristics I would not like.

I've always found determination, goal setting, and focus to be some of the most attractive things in a person. It's great to think that people aren't just floating around existing with no real expectations in their life. Being a bit of a dreamer is also ideal, but not too much. I would still like him to be grounded. However it's awesome to say things like "I would love to one day travel the world, I dream of it often." As for determination, here's a good example. I once dated a guy that was driving down from San Jose to see me for the first time. He got lost, went the wrong way on the freeway, and went over an hour out of his way, one way. Well, even though that relationship didn't end up anywhere, it spoke volumes that he was still willing to get on the right path and come over to see me anyway. That's about 5 1/2 hours of driving.

I'm not saying that he needs to have the exact same sense of humor as me, but it helps to be able to relate to a person's sense of humor. If I had a nickle for every time someone on Facebook got offended at something I said because they took it out of context (re: me making a joke, not making an insult), I'd be a millionaire... Okay no really, I'd have about a buck thirty-five...ish. But when I say a sense of humor, I don't just mean being able to crack jokes and make me laugh. I adore a guy that can make me laugh easily, but I also admire a guy that can laugh at himself, too. Not taking yourself too seriously, and laughing when you trip and fall instead of getting mad about it. I'm a klutz, and through the years I've gone from getting pissed when I tripped, to now laughing at myself like "Oh geez, here I go again!"

Family and friend oriented is a big deal for me, too. I just think of the movie I Love You, Man, in which Paul Rudd's character has no friends. It seems odd to not have a friend, at all. I love my family, and I love my close friends, and I wouldn't give them up for anything. However I do want to say that I get frustrated of the "bros before hoes" types of friends. I totally don't mind the bro-code or the fact that some guys think they definitely should come first before another guy's girlfriend... But I hate guys that refer to girls as hoes, or as if they are to drop everything they are doing for their friends, all the time. I guess though, one of the main reasons that I like for a guy to have his own family and friends beyond me and my family and friends, is because we all need to retreat somewhere. We need someone to talk to that isn't our significant others. Someone who will offer advice or just listen to all you have to say. If a guy I were with in the long haul didn't have any of that, it would put a strain on our relationship, because they would have no where to vent to if I did something completely stupid/crazy, like us women are known for doing. lol

Intelligence is such a turn on. If I can have a conversation with a guy about just about any topic under the sun, and they carry on their part, I'm like putty in his hands. Things that bother me sometimes about this though, is that sometimes when a discussion can turn into an argument/debate, and sometimes, some guys, when they are losing their side of the argument, instead of trying to keep going in a friendly manner, start lashing out insults. This is a big peeve of mine. San Jose dude mentioned above used to do this to me! ...Anyhow, this also is related to being quick witted. I love a guy that can think on his feet. :)

It would be ideal to have all of these traits, the only thing I'm not epically picky over is appearance. Though I must say that I've always had a leaning toward... Lanky, skinny, pasty, white boys, with longer dark hair (not long, medium length, I guess, a couple of inches?)...

Friday, July 30, 2010

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Sister Bear - My family nickname from my Dad. He's called me Sister Bear for as long as I can remember. I'm not sure if it's a Berenstain Bears reference, or what.

Auntie Mo - My nickname from my brother's two youngest kids. This actually started in 2001 when I worked at Michaels. My boss at the time, Harry, used to call me "Mo." When Austin started learning how to speak, he had trouble saying Milissa, so I said "He can just call me Auntie Mo!" and it stuck. :)

Mil - A former online friend decided to start calling me this one day, and it stuck. It's now my most common nickname. Don't call me Missy, or I might claw off your face... Unless you are my grandma, one of my Aunts, or my Mom.

There have been others through the years that have been used here or there. Like Missa...but the above three are the only ones that ever stuck with me.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

I once had a 101 Things in 1001 Days list, but I fell so out of touch with it, and breaking my ankle made a lot of the things on that list nearly impossible from the debt that I found myself in. But I'm going to list off plans, dreams, goals, that I've had for myself, for my life, whether they are things I'd like to get accomplished in the next few months, years, or even in a few decades.

In no particular order...

-Get to about 170 pounds. Then assess with health care professionals if I should continue to lose as according to BMI charts, or if I should just work on maintaining that weight.
-Keep playing softball as long as I have two functioning arms and two functioning legs.
-Get back into tap dancing eventually. Money and lacking ankle strength are the only things keeping me from it.
-Live in a different state at some point in my life. And ideally, a different country for at least 6 months.
-Travel. A lot. Often. As much as I can afford to do within reason.
-See Australia, for no less than 3 weeks.
-Finish my education and get a job that I absolutely adore.
-Maybe get married and have children. At the age I'm at, I've kind of given up hope of that happening.
-Get another cat...someday.
-Get my own apartment, and someday a house.
-Become fluent in a different language, preferred: Portuguese, but I'll settle for one of the other languages I've studied at this point in my life (Spanish, German, French, and American Sign Language).
-Finally learn to ride a bike.
-To never let a good opportunity pass me by.
-To stop making excuses for the things I can control.
-To live life to its fullest at every moment possible.
-To love my brother's kids with all my heart!
-To be a great friend, and never purposefully turn my back on anyone (because it has happened twice to me in just a matter of a couple of months, and I can tell you, IT HURTS).

How's that? :)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

In truth, there is no one person I would want to switch lives with to have their life. I want to have my own life, but I wish I could push the fast forward button. I would love to switch lives in the concept of accomplishments. I would love to switch accomplishments with someone who is done with their education up to their masters degree and has a job that they love. Other than that, I don't want someone else's spouse, bills, children, house, and so on. I want all of that stuff on my own... But I just want to be done with school, and have a job I love passionately.

I would switch for that level of accomplishment, but nothing else.

As for one day? I wouldn't want to switch days with anyone, really. I like being me alright. :)

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

The plan was to take a new picture for today, but I got too busy with going to the gym, catching up on Netflix DVDs, and softball practice, so instead, have one of my favorite pictures of me from 3 years ago.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

I'll include YouTube videos when they're available. :)

1. Scenic World by Beirut

2. Typical by Mute Math

3. Le Moulin by Yann Tiersen (you might know this from the movie Amelie)

4. Sen's Courage by Joe Hisaishi / New Japan Philharmonic Orchestra - Sprirted Away Original Soundtrack

5. Dancing Mad by The Black Mages (Final Fantasy VI)

6. The First Part by Superchunk

7. Rangers by A Fine Frenzy

8. Bewilder by Badly Drawn Boy

9. Me, You, and Steve by Garfunkel and Oates


10. Makeout Bench by Superchunk

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Don't mind my snazzy slippers, this was taken at my brother's wedding, only a few months after I broke my ankle. I still don't fit into dress shoes properly. :(

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Dear Someone-Who-Has-Hurt-Me-Recently,

When you told me that we couldn't be friends anymore because we were dealing with similar issues, I was extremely hurt. Especially since I was once someone you considered a close enough friend to call the night something major happened in your life, stating that you had to call me because I was "one of your people." That call came less than a year before you decided that we could no longer be friends (nine months or so). It caught me completely off guard, and I still don't understand what happened there. All I can say is that I thought it was pretty juvenile that you couldn't even tell me what I did wrong or what these "similar issues" were.

I went through a period of extreme anger toward you after this happened. Now, through insight from someone who knew you rather well at one point, I discovered that it really was the best thing for both of us. I'm glad that you decided to be selfish, and sever ties with me. Because it prevented me from a world of hurt in the long run.

I'm happy for you and the things that you have accomplished in your life, but I don't care to be a part of it anymore.


Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one* (I'll be changing this one a little)

Okay, I'm not really sure what to do here because I'm not writing this on Tumblr. Well, as for blogspot, I've had various accounts on here through the years, but I've lost track of how I heard about it and why I made one. Most of my blogs on this site have been created either to keep a general population of people (i.e. family and close friends) informed on what's been going on in my life. I've had various other accounts dedicated to losing weight, but I tend to get bored of those pretty quickly. I will keep them up for a couple of months and then abandon them, only to delete them after I haven't posted in them for a few months.

So I guess, that's your answer!

Sorry for this one being late, by the way, I'm dealing with a really nasty cold at the moment!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Me and Mary-Lynn at California Adventure.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Happy: Pretty much anything by one of my favorite bands. Superchunk, Portastatic, Pinback, Ludo... Here's a couple of examples:

I don't know that I definitely have things to listen to when I feel sad or bored, I'd imagine I listen to the above kind of stuff, too.

As for hyped- I listen to a lot of Superchunk to hype myself up. Like if I'm on my way to something that is making me feel nervous, I'll listen to Superchunk and I feel better. It gets my energy up, too. Like I'll listen to it on my way to work if I'm feeling exhausted.

Mad? My token song has been Beheaded by The Offspring!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Trying to have a better understanding of where I spend my money. Before I didn't spend much time thinking about it, but now it's pretty much all that I think about. Especially when I start to think of things I want to do in my future. I was making an attempt to try to save money to buy a new car in a couple of years, but I was going about it all wrong. It wasn't until I started planning this trip to Louisiana that I realized how much money I was spending on stupid stuff, and how planning a little better, I could save money on gas, and I can do bigger things- like going to another state to visit a really awesome guy!

I'm really trying to be conscious of where I spend my money, and what I spend it on. After this trip to Louisiana, when I come back, I'm doing a complete makeover on how I keep track of my finances, and where I'm spending my money. Even if it means starting a spread sheet to keep track.

I need to get out of my minor debt (less than $2000), and start saving up for my car, and being smart about it!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

I'm going to consider "this month" to be August, since July is halfway over!

In August, I....

...want to lose 10 pounds at least. If I kill myself in the gym and eat absolutely right, I could lose more.

...will go to Louisiana. :D

...want to organize my closet better. Portions of it just feel like chaos, just because I have no shelving in my closet. I'm thinking about buying some more plastic crates/containers.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

My brother Curtis' and sister-in-law Jamie's kids.

You know, there have been many times of doubt or struggle in my life. Ranging from extremely mild to bigger deals... No matter what's going on in my life, these kids, all three of them, have always made me feel like a million bucks. I try to be a great awesome aunt to them in any way that I can, even if that means playing video games for several hours a day, or trying to teach them how to play Risk (Monkey (my niece) is always on my team in that regard, because she's way too young to understand it- but she rolls the dice for me!)... It doesn't matter really what we do, but I always feel like I'm loved unconditionally by these kids.

If I'm having a particularly rough time, like depression just won't leave me, I just need to go spend a few hours with them, and that frown is turned back upside down!

They have a big impact on me in that regard, but in so many other ways, too. There have been things that have happened in my life, that has made me doubt the possibility of ever having kids of my own, but when I spend time with them, I get reminded of how awesome it is to have kids. Sure, it will always have ups and downs, but I know that in the long run, it would be worth it.

These kids make me strive to be better because I want to watch them grow up, I want to be at Madison's wedding someday-when she's older than 25, because no one will ever be good enough for! And I want to be able to be there when they have kids of their own... And too, I want to be healthy and happy to do this...and I want the same for when I have kids of my own.

So they really have an impact me in a million and one ways. They are awesome kids!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Rogue, from X-Men.

She has been my favorite comic book character since I was a kid. I remember watching X-Men on TV, and reading my brother Alan's comic books because I wanted to read more about her. There aren't that many strong female comic book characters that aren't either epically annoying or wearing completely useless clothes for being active in (hello, Wonder Woman?). Anyhow, I was frustrated when they made the first X-Men movie and they screwed up her storyline. She didn't get her white streak in her hair from Magneto. She got it while stealing Marvel Girl's powers. I always liked her character because of her sassy attitude, and how she really didn't let anyone bug her. She just knocked the crap out of them instead. haha!

So the why is, she's a strong, powerful, sassy woman. What's not to love!?

Friday, July 16, 2010

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

My best friend Barbara's Parents' house in Montreal!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

There are many habits that I guess I could list here, most of which would be physical things. Like not biting off fingernails that break, instead wait to get the clippers. Or how about picking at scabs or hangnails when I'm nervous or bored? Or even trying to be more organized- sure, I'm plenty organized, but sometimes I let my room get out of control, especially when I'm busy- and that's a bad habit!

But the main habit I want to get rid of is my negative feelings and doubting my self-worth. There are so many times that I will get started on a path to feeling better about myself, and about my goals in life, but then I will start in with a defeatist attitude. There are so many things I could have had accomplished by now, if the negative part of my brain would have just stayed out of the picture. My self-esteem is often lacking, too. I know that when I'm feeling depressed, I feel like I don't deserve to feel special and happy, and that I can't attain my goals. A lot of my goals get ditched because I don't know how to keep that part of me quiet.

I go through a sort of "roller coaster" in my feelings of thinking I deserve great things, and then thinking that I'm no one amazing and that I don't deserve much special. I probably need counseling for this, but being that I lack health insurance, I kind of don't get to do that (I'll be taking advantage of CSU-Fresno's mental health services when I return to classes though).

I'm trying to push myself to think that I deserve great things though, but it takes a lot of work to stay in that mindset. I try to stay focused on my ultimate goals (getting my masters, getting an awesome job in a different state, see the country, see the world, etc), and that keeps me moving in the right direction.

But when that moment of hopelessness pops up out of the blue...maybe it's getting hit with another financial woe, or car issue... It spirals it all back down again.

I wish I could ditch this habit for good!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

I actually don't have very many pictures of me with other people because I hate the way my body looks below the neck, so I usually try to talk my way out of pictures! lol So anyway, here's one I found on my Facebook!

Me and one of my good friends, Crystal!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Day 02- The meaning behind your user names

You know, in all of the years of me being online, even back to the Bulletin Board System in Fresno called The Barnyard, I've had so many usernames, I've seriously lost track. So I'll try to go from the first username on? Sure, why not... Well, what I can remember, anyway!

Goofy - On The Barnyard. This was because Goofy has always been one of my favorite cartoon characters.

aurora6029 - Because Sleeping Beauty was my favorite Disney movie, and this was my first Yahoo account, when I was about 14 years old, I think? I also had a briarrose6029, I think. Which is also a Sleeping Beauty reference!

sisterbear613 - My second Yahoo account, I don't even remember what happened between this and the previous one though. Sister Bear is one of my family nicknames, my Dad has called me that since I was a kid.

PenPen2 - on, because PenPen was a fun character from Neon Genesis Evangelion. When I joined's forums, I put myself as PP2, just because there were similar posters on both sites, and a lot of people on AB called me PP2.

DuckGirl/PP2DuckGirl - A former friend, Reese, and I had come up with these online fake personas, our "superheroes." She was Goose Man, and I was Duck Girl. When I was at a need for yet another account on Yahoo, I created PP2DuckGirl because "DuckGirl" was taken!

Thermal Undies - This came up randomly one day, I was trying to think of something that could be considered sexy - undies - but something that would make it unsexy - thermal. Therefore, Thermal Undies was born! I used it on so many different sites. OkCupid, Insane Journal, LiveJournal,'s forums... I really lose track on that one. It is now my second longest online persona.

Kinda_Tuesday - I had a LiveJournal account that I used for a while just to post rants- I'm not sure WHY I titled it Kinda Tuesday though. I think it was because I thought it wasn't quite Monday, but it was kind of Tuesday? Who knows!

Bob the Goldfish - Meaghan, my exboyfriend Daniel's sister, used to call me Bob. lol I'm not sure why, but she did! (You'll have to ask her, I guess!) And I thought that Bob was a good name for a Goldfish, so...why not!? This was a LiveJournal name.

Fatty Fish / Pissy Fish - Back when I had my Bob the Goldfish account, I had TOO MANY FRIENDS on LiveJournal. Some just wanted to read about my weight loss progress, and some just wanted to hear my rants. So I made two separate accounts for that purpose. This was before I knew what friend filters were!

Chill Blue - I used this as a temporary account on OkCupid, when I wanted to have an account to stalk profiles without being seen. hehe This is a partial song title from one of my favorite bands, Superchunk. The whole title was "Night of Chill Blue."

Electric Banana - my current username on's forums. I've been this for about 2 or 3 years now, I lose track! I'm not sure why I created this one. I think I just finished eating a banana. But it's been a while now that I created it, and then I didn't post for about a I don't really remember!

Sexy Ankles - I've been this on LiveJournal now for about 5 years (and on MSN and AIM). This is another Superchunk song title!

The Yellow Ones - Another temporary account on OkCupid. I'm not sure why it was I joined this one, I think it was in between serious accounts, and I had a blog I was posting on about things I found on the I think it was so I could still log in and view profiles that were hidden! This is a song title by another of my favorite bands, Pinback.

Platonic_Zebra - My current name on OkCupid. When I rejoined the site, I was just interested in finding some male friends that weren't just interested in something that I wasn't going to be interested in (I get so many messages that just say "hey, wanna hook up?" and that's not my style!)... Anyhow, since I was searching platonic relationships, I put that in the user name...and Zebras are one of my favorite animals, so why not?

Zero Wing - I actually have no accounts affiliated with this name anymore. This was once my roller derby name, which was inspired by the video game. If you've ever heard the phrase "All your base are belong to us," and you don't know where it's from? Well, it's from Zero Wing!

I think that catches you up to speed! Did I miss any that you know about? If so, tell me!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Taken today

1. I'm sure most of you that read this already know, but I never learned to ride a bike.
2. Most people are either a salty snack person, or a sweet snack person, I'm both.
3. I'm growing my hair out again to donate to Locks of Love in honor of my niece, Madison. This will be my fourth time donating, but only the third to that organization. It's just passed my shoulders, so I've got a way to go!
4. In the summer, I hate wearing my hair down, but any other time of year sometimes you can't stop me from wearing it down- unless I woke up too late to do anything nice with it- then it's a pony tail/bun day. But I never wear it down to work!
5. I consider myself an extremely amateur photographer.
6. I love to travel- especially if it's somewhere interesting.
7. I have an unhealthy obsession with lip gloss.
8. I begin working on my masters in geology in August, and I already can't wait to be finished with it, so I can start a career that I LOVE.
9. I seriously hate getting the hiccups. If I hiccup too much in a row, I actually get sick!
10. I'm flat footed, but my feet roll out when I run, which is supposed to be really rare.
11. I was a pollutarian (vegetarian diet add chicken) for several years growing up (9 or 10 years old to 20), and then the last year I was what I referred to as "borderline vegan," in which I bought no new animal products, but I still used it if I already owned it (i.e. shoes). And I would eat dairy 2-4 days a week.
12. Ever since I broke my ankle, I rarely cross my legs. I find it very uncomfortable to my knees.
13. I love sizzlin' cinnamon Jelly Bellies. Every time I go to the movies at Sierra Vista, I always stop by Powell's and buy a bag. SO GOOD.
14. I'm finally in the market to get a boyfriend that I might actually marry someday in the future, but it seems like all of the guys that are interested in me...I just want to be friends with. I've waited this long, it's okay for me to be a little picky, right?
15. I want to one day save up enough money to buy myself a marimba. Do you know how much those cost? A new good one is about $7000!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

30 Days

Since I keep forgetting that I have this blog, I'm going to try to jump start it by taking a cue from my long time online friend Sammi in the UK. I'm going to do a 30 day challenge of blogging. I will try post in 30 consecutive days, but because I currently don't have a properly working laptop of my own, I'll only be able to update via my parents computer and my work computer! Anyhow, be prepared for the next 30 days, here are the topics coming up:

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 02- The meaning behind your user names

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day06- Favorite super hero and why

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one* (I'll be changing this one a little)

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Who are you