When I told Mom that Jared was a quarter Portuguese, she said "You'd better make sure you're not related!" with a laugh. However, this started to make me worried. Knowing my luck, the one guy that has caught my attention and kept it in the past 4 years WOULD be related. So I called Grandma. The first time I talked to her about it, I only knew the rest of his heritage, Armenian, Russian, and French. Grandma said she didn't know of anyone in our blood line with that mixture, so I had my mind put more at ease.
On our second date, I found out his mother's maiden name, Fontes. So when Grandma called today, I had at least that much information to give her. She said we aren't related to any Fontes', but said that she knew someone named Joe Fontes. So Grandma goes on to describe Joe a little bit, like how he's been married twice, and his first wife's name was Rosemary, and that he lives in Easton.
So I called Jared.
Me: "Do you have an Uncle Joe?"
Me: "Does he live in Easton?"
Me: "Was he married to Rosemary?"
Me: "Okay, my Grandma used to be good friends with him."
Him: "Okay, but we're not related, right?"
Me: "Oh no no!"
Him: "Oh good! Good friends I can deal with, but related!?"
Me "Yeah, no relation!"
So we're both extremely relieved to know that we are FOR SURE not related.